Dealing With Grief And My Emotions

Managing emotions helps with getting to know yourself better. Emotional pain can stop us dead in our tracks and sometimes forces us to make decisions that are uncomfortable, by prompting us to face who we are and where we are headed.

How we deal with emotional pain defines who we eventually become. Do we use the experience to break us, or to make us? The answer lies within us.

I lived through unimaginable pain I’d never wish on my enemy. The loss of my youngest brother, and shortly after my mum, forced me to learn rather quickly how to cope with handling my emotions. This was especially due to the fact that I was the first of 7 siblings. I had to be the one that was strong for the others. It was a grave responsibility that I didn’t want, but couldn’t reject.

I struggled and still do from stress, nightmares and insomnia. My anxiety levels tripled and I became an anxious freak at everything. It’s been a roller coaster of emotional turmoil, but I’m learning to deal with it as time goes by and I made a choice to manage negative experiences in my life as they come and set the trajectory on how my life is going to pan out, moving forward.

It takes strength of will and a strong determination to think optimistically when negative event surrounds you. But, I did promise myself, that I was going to live intentionally from now with the knowledge that life can be very transient.

I take each new experience I face as an opportunity for self-growth. Through this experience, I’ve been forced to examine my life more deliberately, finding myself asking questions like,”Who am I”? I am beginning to learn more about myself now, than I did for the past 37 years of my life, before my mums passing.

I choose now to see life through my own lenses and not through the lenses of others, while making sure I do not resize the truth of my own expressions to fit into the world’s frame.

I forced myself out of obscurity to visibility. From unknown to becoming known. I choose to LIVE! LOVE!LAUGH!

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