Change is what happens when the familiar give way to the unexpected; the mysterious and sometimes, the very dark.
You are either going forward or retracting. Change is the replacement of the regular. It is a touch or reduction. Change is what happens when you lose some money and you cannot go to school anymore. Or when you lose a breadwinner. These things happen.
How best do we prepare for them? Should we all go spiritual and commit it into the hands of an Almighty God? What if you do not believe in God, how do you stay adaptive to change – expected or not?
The first step to staying adaptive to change is to never be shocked. Or act like you are not. Sadly, even the familiar could shock us so amazingly. But the idea of not being shocked is taking changes as part of existence. People are born and others die. While you have a right to mourn and cry and stay without food for days, you also have the right to pick up yourself and see the other side of grief, of taking up new projects and looking forward to new openings, never being too selective but open. This is the point where I tell you that you’d need the survival instinct. It should be a goal to survive. The decision for the breadth of your survival is entirely yours.
I have a friend who depended on her sister for everything. She had no options. She needed to stay close to an elder sister, of course.
She was the oldest in the house and Africa doesn’t permit older siblings to be great without some heaped responsibilities. The elder sister had a great job that paid bills and assisted as many persons as possible. She fell ill and struggled and eventually died. The friend became desolate. Her only true friend; a benefactor was gone. She had not thought it possible that such a day would come so soon when she would be responsible for more than herself, but the legacy of a deceased sister and the expectations of the world on a teenager.
My friend sunk in mourning and became detached. Luckily, some friendship pulled through and she has picked up and a couple of things are in place. Her skills are working for her. She is meeting new people and maybe some new doors that never seemed like they existed before are becoming almost visible. She needed to have honed her skills and created a room for independence earlier but she did not know that such a mess would be created so soon.
To be adaptive, you must have such functional mind that allows you to process the reality of the time. A scene has been created. There has been loss. What is the next step? The next step should determine all that would go well and all that would fail. If one dwells in throwing blames, that fellow remain stuck in that mess and as time ticks, he or she is left behind. And when there is a left behind, there is a struggle overtime to reach lost opportunities – to catch up.
There is a need for a will; the will to move on and be a better version of what you were. Once the will to have this better version is there, the universe conspires through its many elements to see you through – or so I believe. But you must have a fine and solid will to move ahead. It is basic.
Another fine step to being adaptive is learning new skills that can make you better and forget your past. These skills could be beneficial and can sustain you. It could also be a project. Being adaptive to change is being strong and not letting the waters to carry you along.
You may grieve but you should not die in it. Be adaptive and create multiple layers of expectations and channels to stay alive. Try new skills. Volunteer. Sometimes, in doing free jobs with great happiness, you are exposed to proper ways of lifting yourself up.