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We all do! ''It belongs to us all'', even though I manage it. Your opinion and stories are valid and important enough to change our world one person at a time.

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...Few years ago I wouldn’t agree with anyone that you should nod to compliments. It may be because I see it as tool used by exploitative people. In Nigeria, someone who wants to drain you would come with all sorts of compliments that cannot be rooted in anything. Compliment is the first step in the rule-book for “How to Use People to Your Advantage”. To give compliment, you ought to be sure of the strength of the person at the receiving end. You should compliment, based on realistic statistics. You should not see an obviously lazy person and tell them that they are hard working, except you wish to be ironical.

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Livingjoys

...Last week I attended a birthday party of a mutual friend and on my way back at about 2AM, the taxi I rode in drove through a popular nightlife spot in my city and my eyes could not ignore a sight I saw. There was a well-clothed, good-looking dark lady who stood by the road, a bit away from where others stood. This description could have poured out within the minute I saw her. The headlamp of the taxi beamed on her like a dancing spotlight and I held my heart. She was just too young, beautiful and well dressed to be there.  .....

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Livingjoys

...Many people wish to change the world; sadly, the world ends up changing them. The things they met when they were younger and how they grew up looking at a thing had to change. How they had access to the things they needed ought to change or so, they told themselves. They did their best to see a new perspective to these things. Because they grew up seeing how domestic maids were maltreated, they felt they would give whoever comes across them the best treatment they can afford.

 

They would not discriminate when it comes to schooling. They would do their best to make sure that humans were treated fairly, if not equally. But a lot happened and things changed.....

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Livingjoys

Well, I don’t have issues with age, be you younger or older. I have been a lover of the functionality of the rational mind since I was a boy. And the functionality is not particularly restrictive. When I hear friends tell me about their fields, I try to know what makes those fields unique and why I should pay more attention to the field. 

 

Recently, I met a pretty law student. I am a fan of beauty, in the various forms that it comes. But I am a fan of informed beauty, maybe that’s because I am broke and I try to stay away from non-creatively vain conversations. It is great to talk about mundane things in a flowery way. This is what being interested in arts or the things around it causes....

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......I added her up on Facebook and followed her wit and seriousness. One day, I sent her a direct message. I did that over a couple of years and then our friendship earned me occasional mentorship.

She would speak to me when I needed someone to talk and share strategies on how to get my ideas off the ground. It could have been uneasy listening to a novice and his many ideas and his lack of funds and clear-cut direction.

 

I am grateful that she did not find me worrisome and ignore my chats and calls. And for every advise and her attention to my complaints......

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Livingjoys

......I want to believe that the man who is not at peace with his family is not at peace at all, especially in Africa. And by family I am referring to both nuclear and the extended family.

 

On this continent, we are built to function around family so that when you excel and family doesn’t, people ask questions?

 

They barely believe that you shouldn’t be bothered with that. When you put to bed, it is family that comes to stay with you for the long month and run errands for you. When you are sick, it is family that stays by your bedside ......

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Livingjoys

.............How do you not become distracted in a world where distraction is in abundance – on TV, in the eyes of friends, in the pressure from family, in the words that you hear from your teachers or a partner?

How do you maintain your identity and stay focused on your passion and pay the debt of seeing it come to reality?

 

Are there some special heavenly tips?

 

What does it benefit to stay true to your dreams and avoid abundant distraction?....

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Livingjoys

.............To live, you have to be daring. You have to not take failure lightly by resigning. When there is a locked door, it is either you would continue knocking or you are creative enough to construct another door. To live is to have an idea of what a great life would be and you deliberately go after that life.....

 

 

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Livingjoys

.............It is very important that you choose the kind of friends that you surround yourself with. But before you’d have the effrontery to take up such action, you must be as good as those you intend to keep. You cannot be empty and wish to have enlightened people when you cannot afford them the kind of conversation and ideas that they bring to the table+.....

 

 

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Livingjoys

................I have seen people who were gifted with physical and mental challenges from birth but they defied it. They refused to be knocked down – they gave themselves their own gifts, made lemonade out of a gifted lemon. They saw beyond what it was that was the struggle – poor background, broken home, broken arm or legs......

 

 

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How do you not become distracted in a world where distraction is in abundance – on TV, in the eyes of friends, in the pressure from family, in the words that you hear from your teachers or a partner? How do you maintain your identity and stay focused on your passion and pay the debt of seeing it come to reality? Are there some special heavenly tips? What does it benefit to stay true to your dreams and avoid abundant distraction?.....

 

 

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.............I call ‘self-doubt’ the first demon because it is first, internal and closer to a dreamer than an external enemy.  It is the usage of your own mind against you........To conquer this first demon, there is a need for a mind-shift. It is your mind. You own it. You try to correct it when it comes equipped with facts about how if you hugged the couch you could have the cozy sleep of your life and the world’s troubles could just go by and you would be better.....

 

 

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.............I have a friend that I have not really been checking on. We talk once in a while and I try to make up for all we have lost touch with; gossips and a troubled economy and what we could do to live one day at a time cheerily...........I checked on this friend few days ago and discovered that I had been un-friend-ed. It was unbelievable. This was my close-friend. I could not imagine it – how it was so easy to tap the un-friend button – without prior confrontation for whatever I could have done wrongly....

 

 

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.............The first step to staying adaptive to change is to never be shocked. Or act like you are not. Sadly, even the familiar could shock us so amazingly. But the idea of not being shocked is taking changes as part of existence.

 

 

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.............Social media has made it easier to stalk old classmates. You follow them up with a non-existent name, created to just check on your friends. You try to see where they are and compare it to the kind of persons they were while in school............. But, you should not feel that you are less of yourself because someone has taken a step ahead of you except if you are in a race with them. And you cannot race with people whose drive and motivations are unknown to you

 

 

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.............You should have read somewhere that when you forgive people, you forgive yourself too and that it may not be for their personal growth but yours. And you wonder how true that may be. But what you read above may not be far from a certain truth – an uncomfortable one. When you forgive people, you don’t live with the heaviness that hangs around the neck of those who usually never forgives or forgets.

 

 

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.............Lack of patience, a trait that conservatives would see as the grand weakness of this generation isn’t just missing amongst couples. It is the missing link between friends; families, parents and offspring. Employers and employees lack it too and it reduces productivity. Lack of patience shows up everywhere: at the ticket-stand at the cinema. It is that tiny thing that triggers pacing around or outright confrontation of the sales’ representative who could be doing her first day on the job, or the hired taxi driver who may still be learning to navigate his way around town. Patience could be useful. Patience gives people ample time to put things right.

 

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......................We live in an amazing time. Everyone has his definition of what a fulfilled life is and he pushes it down the throat of everyone. Your strengths and limitations are not considered. Your past failures; your fears, your distrust for a system that has failed you severally is not considered. You had rather met their parameters of success or you are declared less worthy. This may not sound so different from what you have read or heard in the past but if you can pay for your drink and do not need the aid of a machine to breathe, then you’d be fine.

 

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We all have challenges in our lives, but in the midst of it all, we sometimes feel the need for calmness and tranquillity. Learning  to meditate is a wonderful way to practice your spirituality. It gives you a sense of calm and clarity that is simply unbeatable. 

One of the best ways to live a happier and more loving life is to make meditation a regular practice in your daily life. Meditation helps you to still your mind ~ and when all the monkey chatter has gone quiet,

 

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livingjoys.com

If you know how to love yourself, you have the key to live a happy and balanced life!

Loving yourself is critical for personal happiness. When you learn to know and accept the true you, miracles happen. You feel at peace with yourself, you're better able to balance the tensions around you, it's easy to be authentic in relationships, and you stop having regrets for what you have or haven't done in your life. 
So why is it so difficult to love yourself?

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Livingjoys

It all seemed like it was not fair to me. How come I couldn’t go out to play like my neighbours; other children who mostly attended the same school with me? “Your mother is wicked; why is she always stopping you from playing outside with other children?”

 

Such were the kind of questions that I was meant to answer from my friends between the hours of 2.30pm when we returned from school and 5.30pm when my mother would have returned from work. I would sulk over my inability to jump 

 

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